I can't believe this is a real news report

OMDL, what is wrong with some people?

History of the Internet(s)

History of the Internet from PICOL on Vimeo.

How to make 225 million dollars for medical research (For free)

Convince the Obama administration to do this. Go there and vote up this idea. Make money for real science while tearing down pseudoscience. You couldn't ask for more.

America, FUCK YEAH

ILLITERACY, FUCK YEAH!

New Years Resolution

When I type in IM, I have a horrible habit of making horrible run on sentences, I feel so dumb because of it. My goal this year is to stop doing it, so if you are ever talking to me on IM and I type a run on sentence, you are to yell at me and question my parentage.

I don't get it

story
1) Some girl gets bored over break and sends over 14,000 text messages. She has an unlimited text message plan.
2) ???
3) Her parents punish her.

Does the internet count as a friend?

Yahoo answers

Thanks to failblog, I recently came across a yahoo answers post asking one of the most interesting questions ever.

What is the right age to start teaching my dog about sex?

The question alone is hilarious, but one of the answers made it all the better.

Strange but.............I just gave my dogs a stuffed animal there size, and the started humping it, then i taught them to go under the bed when they do it

An important holiday

Guys, I don't like to preach much, but I just felt I should remind you what an important day tomorrow is. Tomorrow commemorates the birth of perhaps the greatest hero of mankind, whose tireless work enlightened the world and changed history. Don't forget the reason for the season.

How to pick up chicks

Step 1: Throw shoes at the president of the US
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Chick!

Post Exam 1 report

6 questions, each question worth 10 points. Test is scored out of 40 (so ~20 pts extra credit available). Obviously two of the questions were significantly more difficult than the rest. I had no clue what to do for them, but the other 4 were very doable and I think I got near full credit.

Final verdict: I'm putting my money on a solid 3.0 in the class.

Now to start studying for tomorrow's exam

I impregnate women from across the room

link

Finally, a music video I can relate to! (NSFW)

Too many songs about sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll. We need more songs about day to day life, like this.

Sometimes there just aren't swear words strong enough

When on Friday you double check your final exam times that you thought were on Tuesday and Thursday and discover that they are actually on Monday and Tuesday.

Why I don't get any (Part 2)

Male students in the sciences don't get any.

I could have told you that. Fund my research dammit, not this soft science crap. I will be harder working, given that I won't be distracted by all the sexy-time I won't be having.

Don't vote for this guy!

Well, I'm convinced.

What's your Sinner Ranking?

Simply count the number of labels below that apply to you. (Somebody really like's unnecess'ary apostrophe's.)


I'm a 9. Well, 10 if you consider me an effeminate man (I have been known to lactate on occasion). What are you? I wonder where my loud mouth women readers rank...

Suck it, Microsoft

They're down to less than 90% market share in the OS market, the poor bastards

My previous post

I have been informed that I inadvertently plaigerized the Reading Rainbow at the end of my last post. My deepest apologies to Geordi La Forge.

Poor Thomas gets a bad rap

Anyone with a religious upbringing is familiar with the story of the apostle Thomas doubting the resurrection until he observed Jesus for himself. When this story is told, he is often cast in a very negative light for his skepticism. Even as a child this story rang incredibly shallow to me. The moral of the story was implied to be that one should have faith without evidence.

Note that in the story, Thomas isn't even doubting Jesus himself, so it can't really be described as a religious faith issue (which would hold -slightly- more water, but still not enough to keep the story afloat). He is doubting the other apostles' account of Jesus' appearance. The moral of the story applied to a real life situation seems to be that if you came up to me and told me that you chatted with my dead grandmother a few days ago, that I should take your word for it instead of saying "O rly? Pix or it didn't happen".

To this day whenever I hear a reference to the story, it makes me cringe a little that people actually think that requiring evidence for wild claims is a negative quality. As someone who loves science and just generally as a human being, there are few qualities that I would hold to be higher. Requiring evidence is good. Skepticism is good. These are keystones to knowledge accumulation. I am quite proud to consider myself a Doubting JD. But don't take my word for it.

Newest food fad

For those who enjoy keeping up with my eating habits, my latest meal that I eat 2+ times per day has become the toasted ham and cheese sandwich. Toast the bread, stick some ham and cheese in there, microwave for ~20 seconds, eat. Repeat at least daily for best results. Shockingly, it has been several days since I've eaten a hot dog.

What food will displace the mighty toasted ham and cheese sandwich from its throne? Stay tuned to find out. Maybe in a few years.

America the illiterate

Read it or else. (if you can read, of course)

Don't mess with Law students

or you'll get your ass kicked

What a fucking tool

I rarely use profanity in this blog, but Bill Donahue truely merits it. Bill Donahue explemplifies everything that is wrong with religion in this country. He's not just some fringe loony, he is mainstream Catholic, represents a large Catholic organization, and has clearly shown that is he completely intolerant of nontheists. This kind of bigotry is completely unacceptable. The ad compaign can barely be interpreted as even minorly offensive, but apparently even just trying to increase awareness of nontheist viewpoints is a crime against society.

Oh, and to my readers, please be good for goodness' sake. And have a happy holidays.

Planets!

Astronomers have actually imaged planets from outside of our solar system! This is like the most amazing thing ever. Check it out.

Amazing pictures of Antarctica

here

Every few days they post a bunch of hi res pictures on a new topic (not just Antarctica). I've added this rss feed, and you should too. Or else.

Well, I guess it's time to get off of America

Sorry, but I've been ordered to by a Real American (TM) from Alaska.


P.S. I'm sorry crime is so rampant, that's my bad.

An article I found all by myself

From The Onion

Joe the Plumber

Poor Joe

A Venn diagram that speaks to me

The only thing that's inaccurate is the relative size of the circles.

Trivia

What is the farthest point on the earth's surface from the center? Mt. Everest, you say? Nopers.

Mt. Chimborazo

The Republican Party doesn't want my vote

Apparently my desire to see like minded people represent me in congress and to see a more secular government makes me a danger to America.

link

The Funny

There's a comedy blog I subscribe to called Photoshop Phridays. Basically the idea is that every week they have a theme, and people photoshop images to match it. It can be pretty funny. This week the theme was merging two movies together. My favorites were:

I finally found someone cooler than me

link

Google labs invention

FINALLY

If only blogger had something like this, maybe I wouldn't make worthless posts at 1:00 PM on Tuesdays.

My last Will and Testament

This flu is killing me. I leave all my cool stuff to TC, all of my lame stuff to Al-Pal, and my Elly to Mz.

Love,
Dead JD

The future is hopeless

link

Noise conducted a survey of 506 girls, ages 13-18 and asked the young ladies for their top career choice. (The girls were allowed to pick more than one career.) Thirty-two percent chose "model."

What is wrong with you people? Yeah, I said it, "you people".

The financial crisis in cartoon form

Because it makes you slightly less sick to your stomach when it's stick figures explaining it.

here

Baseball and Books

A physicist makes an argument that baseball statistics are bullshit.
http://scienceblogs.com/principles/2008/09/baseball_statistics_are_crap.php

Looking for new reading material? There's no better reading material than the books that THEY don't want you to read. Find some here

http://www.ala.org/ala/aboutala/offices/oif/bannedbooksweek/challengedbanned/frequentlychallengedbooks.cfm

Sadly, I only have one of these books on my reading resume.

Don't like physics?

Too bad. Read this anyway.

Chrome on linux

There's a linux port for Chromium (open source google chrome). It's slow and clunky, but it's a cool proof of concept. Check it out.

The worst thing to happen to anyone ever

I no longer get (free) cable. They turned off my free trial today.

Physics hasn't killed us all yet, but I still have hope

So, the LHC started up without destroying us all (Even though it's impossible, and even if it were possible, today's activity couldn't have caused it, for a variety of reasons.), but that doesn't mean we're in the clear yet. Interesting link to an article on a special astronomical phenomenon (That could kill us all. Especially babies and puppies.)

Girls are dumb

The most closely followed news subject for men is Science and Technology. The closest followed news subject for women? Celebrity news. HAHAHAHA. You suckers deserve to make 80 cents to my dollar. :p

My Two Favorite Hobbies

Video games are science

My favorite part:

At one point, Steinkuehler met up with one of the kids who'd built the Excel model to crack the boss. "Do you realize that what you're doing is the essence of science?" she asked.

He smiled at her. "Dude, I'm not doing science," he replied. "I'm just cheating the game!"

I really like that as a description of how science works and why basic research is so important. We learn the rules, and then use them to cheat life into giving us an advantage. If you don't know the rules, you'll never figure out how to cheat them. Therefore, fund the LHC and ILC.

Compelling Election related footage

here

An interesting google hit

I am number 8 on a search for "rated r for strong sexual content" (w/o quotes) on google. Noice.

Upcoming movies

Pac man
Tetris
Minesweeper

Crappy Graphs

Funny site:
http://crappygraphs.com

You can also custom make your own graphs. Check out mine:
Physics
Maths

Error bars, plz

WTF, mate?

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - If the trends of the past three decades continue, it's possible that every American adult could be overweight 40 years from now, a government-funded study projects.

If the trend of the last 5 minute continues, I will have consumed over 50 lbs of food by the end of my shift tonight. Why aren't I on national news?

New blog to read

http://notalwaysright.com/, a collection of anecdotes about customers who, well, aren't right.

The World Famous J-Blog

As my number 1 stalker recently noted, my blog is actually on the biggest website of all time, zee google! I appear on the first page of a google search for captainsexy blog and on the second page for just captainsexy. It's kinda cool in a way, but also pretty lame. I wish I had chosen a cooler name for the blog initially, like thejblog.blogspot.com. I could change it now, but I can't bear to now that I'm actually on zee google. Also, I have little faith in my readership to change their links and RSS feeds. But I still love you.

Whoa, I just checked, and a google search for but seriously guys returns my other blog as the number 1 result. How the crap did that happen?

National Friendship Day

It's tomorrow. In honor of friendship and also in honor of my own laziness, I will simply direct you to an old blog post of mine about Real Friendship (TM).

Home

You may have noticed that birds are singing, that the air smells beautiful, and the world is a happier place. This is because I have returned to my homeland of the USA, thus bringing the world back to its natural state. Be glad and rejoice!

Dr. Horrible

What the hell are you reading this for? Watch Dr. Horrible here now.

Oh, if you don't know, it's a musical starring NPH as a supervillian. The songs alone are amazing, and I don't even like musicals normally.

Think Garfield is funny?

Have you tried Garfield without Garfield?

Microsoft is dumb

article

It's not surprising that the same people that have convinced themselves that Vista is a good operating system aren't well informed enough about history to know that a spherical earth was commonly accepted in Columbus' time. It's also not surprising that a large ad campaign has no ethical problems with propogating a common falsehood. It's no wonder that mainstream society is so ignorant about so many things.

Yet another health risk

I was reading about the health risks of cell phone use, and I came across this line.

Carpal tunnel syndrome: "Repeated, prolonged gripping of anything can contribute to carpal tunnel syndrome," says Jennifer Valle, an occupational therapist and certified hand therapist at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas. Valle recommends an ear piece or headset.

Dammit, as if I didn't have enough risk factors for carpal tunnel as it is.

Tennis Article

I was reading this article when I was struck by two setences back to back

Federer makes his first appearance since being dethroned at Wimbledon thanks to a five-set loss to Rafael Nadal in arguably the best tennis match ever played.

For the first time since way back in 2002, the slumping Swiss will enter the U.S. Open without claiming at least one major in a season.

Only Roger Federer could play in the best tennis match ever and be accused of slumping in the same breath.

Oil and hypocrisy in politics

A very well articulated article

Although most of my political beliefs tend to fall much more liberal than conservative side, I'd have to say in the case of oil and dealing with the problems of peak oil, both sides are equally retarded. This is why I only cast write-in votes for myself when I vote.

My Trip to Switzerland

Hi, I've decided to make different sort of log for my trip, so point your browsers here and enjoy. It should be updated regularly during the next two weeks.

This is a day for the history books

OMG HOLY CRAP DIABLO III WTF??!

I am so happy right now, I can't stop crying. (Although it might also be because the rational center of my brain has shut down from 6 days without decent sleep)

Sensationalism? Naaaw

Take a look at this headline. Could it be any more retarded and sensationalist?

Role Model

There's not a whole lot of people that I would call role models for me. It'd tough finding people to look up to when you are as awesome as me, but I've found a few. I'd like to give a shoutout to the most admirable person I don't know personally, Craig Newmark. You may have heard of his little website, craigslist. Craig, despite being fabulously wealthy and powerful, still does customer service work at craigslist. He's made craigslist itself into an efficiently run, incredibly helpful organization that refuses to cave in to corporate bullying (from Ebay, as of late). And, of course, for the vast majority of users, it is free.

For me, Craig represents someone that "gets" the internets. The internet is about connecting people. Despite numerous attempts to get him to sell out and heavily commercialize craigslist, he has resisted because it's more important to him to provide that service to people than to make an extra oodle of money. My perception of Craig is that of an incorruptable demigod, fighting against the overcommercialization and greed that threatens to poison the internet. Sort of like Xerces, if Sparta was a bunch of ISPs and Athens was a collection of ignorant politicians.

He also takes principled stands in his political dealings. He often uses his blog to bring attention to efforts to increase visibility in legislature and to speak out in favor of net neutrality. He understands the raw power of the information age, and the sweeping benefits it can have for everyone. More importantly, he fights for the legislation necessary to preserve the potency of the internet.

So take a look at craig's blog and read up on some of his articles, especially on net neutrality. That's a guy who really knows where his towel is.

Stress

I've been thinking.

Allowing myself to get stressed out is pretty much the single worst thing I can do to myself. I have developed horrible coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. As I'm sure all of my readers know, when I am stressed I self medicate with the most powerful drug on the planet - candy, the sugaryier, the better. It doesn't really make me feel any better, but I do it anyway.

Strangely enough, the most powerful "self medication" I have discovered to relieve stress is physical exercise, which sounds kind of lame, but it is true. Unfortunately, I only really run and/or work out when I'm already in a good mood, giving my life a sort of bipolar flavor, going through times where I feel great and times where I feel terrible.

Anyway, this summer is going great. I'm a little sore today from tennis and I think I'm going to go running after work. Things are looking good.

Spam of the Day

I just got called on my cell phone from some spamming agency paid for by ICCC wanting to sell me on ICCC's online courses. What a joke.

Rickrolling

They say rickrolling is dead, but anyone who knows me knows that I never let go of a good meme. So check out this video, and after that, check out this one (even more awesome).

Where the hell is everyone?

Hey guys, it's been forever since I talked to any of you. I know you're all busy with getting used to work, but when you get some time, pop online and chat with me, I'm dying here without anyone. As an extra incentive, the first person to talk to me after this post gets a special story.

The REAL Miracle Fruit (Note:Not beans)

I so want to try these

Computers + Religion = ???

Want to switch to linux, but worried that learning a new OS will distract you from your spirituality? Well good news, now there's Ubuntu Christian Edition. Enjoy.

WTF? of the week

New Mexican group claims "allergy" to wi fi signals.

Complete and utter ridiculousness all around:

The Santa Fe city attorney is checking to see if the Wi-Fi signals could be considered a form of discrimination

A plea to my readers

Please, oh please, won't somebody else become a fan of Arrested Development. I need another fan to talk about it with, dammit!.

Funny WoW related video

Made of pure awesome

An Olive Branch

The grapevine tells me that a truce is desired, and I am a fair man, so forgiveness I shall grant upon the following condition being fulfilled: One (1) voicemail message left on my cell phone singing the entire song Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams. Lyrics can be found here. If the message cuts off early due to maximum length of voicemail, that will be acceptable as well. I look forward to putting this behind us.

Immaturity

Word of the day: Immaturity : The state of being immature. Example: Being too chickenshit to tell people when you aren't able to make a meeting because you're afraid you'll make them mad. Bonus points if the people you blew off without telling had to make significant efforts to get the meeting ready. Extra bonus points if those people's parents also had to make signifcant efforts to prepare the meeting. Super mega dickweed points if you had the audacity to bitch about it in your blog afterwards, completely missing the obvious point of why the people you blew off were angry and instead making an incredibly lame straw man argument. One extra point if you just had to look audacity up in the dictionary.

2 week Doctor boycott

2 weeks starting at 7:00 PM CST for multiple infractions of uncoolness. Also, I will not be visiting him before I leave the state.

You know how I know The Doctor is gay?

Because he's going to download this.

rough summer schedule

finals:    4/28 - 5/2
at home: 5/3 - 5/13
chicago: 5/14 - 7/17
federerland: 7/17 - 7/31
chicago: 7/31 - 8/18
at home: 8/19 - 8/22
back at school: 8/23

Left turns are for suckers

Yet again we hit one of those news articles that attracts me in all of the right places: my passion for computer science, my obsession with energy conservation, and my love of packages.

here

Finally, an energy drink for The Doctor

NSFW

Greetings to our new robot overlords

I wish I could do this. Some guy made a bot and hooked it up through an xbox 360 controller to play guitar hero.

P.S Post 100, finally

Sports and hot streaks

A great example of how the human mind sees patterns that don't exist. It also shows how terrible our intuition is when it comes to probability. Some scientists did a rigorous statistical examination of hot and cold streaks and found that the hot streaks they studied were just random chance. Read about it in the link below.

Blog about it here

Tetris commercial

How the crap do you make an appealing commercial for a game like Tetris? Apparently Nintendo didn't know, either.

Post 101, bitches

I got a letter today from the credit card company congratulating me on having an outstanding balance. I mean, sure, I know I'm pretty thrifty, but I didn't think that it was worthy of accolades.

The Shit List

People I'm mad at:
3. Adolph Hitler
2. Pat Robertson
1. The Doctor

You know what for.

Weird Science

And no, the subject of this blog isn't "Two words that best describe JD". Have you ever gone back and watched a show you loved as a kid, but when you watch it, you're like "Wow, this is retarded." Well, on Hulu, I noticed such a show, Weird Science. However, after I watched a few episodes, I had but one thought:

"AWESOME"

Seriously, Weird Science is awesome. It's aged fairly well, considering it was on when I was growing up in the dark ages, and defying all common sense, I found the writing to be pretty darned good. Give it a shot at www.hulu.com

In other entertainment news, it appears that the new Harold and Kumar movie comes out next month. I'm looking forward to it.

In real life news, I should know my summer plans by Monday. I know some of you are on the edge of your seats about them, so hold on just a few more days.

Things to do when I'm rich

Go to McDonald's and order 5000 cheeseburgers at once, tying it up for the rest of the day. Laugh at everyone stuck behind you in line.

Back in Blog

Hello reader (Yes, that is singular),
After a large lapse I feel I am ready to continue to post about the boring minutia of my life, I hope you are ready to continue to read about it.

So, as you may know, I recently got a futon in my main TV/computer room. Since then I have not slept in my read bed. Unfortunately, as convenient as this set up is (and saves on heating bills), I'm afraid I might have to move back to the bedroom shortly, because Elly is way too loud in there in the middle of the night.

In other news, I just restarted working on my old research project at work. It's a bit different and more involved this time, and this time I have a partner to work with and to throw the burden onto when I get bored and/or lazy. Hooray! Ask me for more details.

I'm off to work now, I hope to catch you later.

But Seriously, Guys

I have made a second blog to put some of my more serious and/or offensive thoughts and opinions on. If you feel that reading strong opinions conflicting with your own on religion, politics, etc will adversely affect our relationship, don't read it.

Rated R for sexual content

Warning:Sexy content in this post (Sexual content*). Do not read if you are offended by clinical terminology like "hoo hoo" and "ding a ling".

blog article on the washington post

Apparently a Federal court has overturned Texas' ban on the sale of sex toys. Why did Texas enact this statute in the first place? Apparently the law was for "discouraging prurient interests in autonomous sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification unrelated to procreation." For convienence, www.dictionary.com

But yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. Texas apparently believes that it can and should legislate how you touch your fun parts, or how anyone else touches your fun parts if it isn't explicitly for baby-making purposes.

Cargo Cults

Cargo cults.

Interesting example of one.

Read and enjoy.

Yes, my mosts are getting less and less verbose, you are not just imagining things.

Hard drive encryption and you

As my readers are well aware, two of my greatests interests lie in technology and social issues. However, you may not be aware that I also have a weak spot for interesting legal questions. And when the three mix, you get a fascinating story to me.

My thoughts on Lost season 4

In the future, nobody shaves. I can't wait to see Kate's 5 o clock shadow.

YTMND

Just yesterday Nick asked me if I had seen any good YTMND's lately. And today I ran across not just a good YTMND, but the best YTMND ever. BEHOLD!

John Edwards is a funny man

After Edwards recieved 4% of the vote in the Nevada caucuses:

"This is one of those times that I hope the old saying, 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,' turns out to be true," said Mr Edwards.

Mike Huckabee makes the "Canada List"

The Canada List - the list of candidates which, if they win the presidential election, I will be highly tempted to move to the great land of Canadia to avoid their questionable policies.

Why Mike is on the list

Because I was just thinking the other day "Gee, you know what the world needs more of? Theocracies!"

17.97

Well, I'm back in Lansing. Elly has been completely spoiled by her time at FD. he meows incessantly for attention whenever I get home and it takes her about an hour to calm down.

In happier news, I bought my books for the semester on Monday, and the cost came to a grand total of 17.97. So here's to the cheapest semester on record!

This will be a short one but I'll leave you with this.

Vomit Free Since Christmas Eve

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, but at least I got a good story out of it. Last night I woke up at about 11 feeling terrible. I saw my dad and I asked him if he had any petobismal to make my stomach settle down. So we go into the bathroom and he pulls it out and starts talking about something. I'm feeling sicker and sicker until I just give up and say, "You know what, I think I'll just throw up instead". And so I did.

Merry Christmas, all.

My Band

As you are probably already aware, I am addicted to Guitar Hero. Since I know you all have nothing better to do than to keep track of the minutia of my life, you can keep track of the progress of my band here.

poop