Vomit Free Since Christmas Eve

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, but at least I got a good story out of it. Last night I woke up at about 11 feeling terrible. I saw my dad and I asked him if he had any petobismal to make my stomach settle down. So we go into the bathroom and he pulls it out and starts talking about something. I'm feeling sicker and sicker until I just give up and say, "You know what, I think I'll just throw up instead". And so I did.

Merry Christmas, all.

My Band

As you are probably already aware, I am addicted to Guitar Hero. Since I know you all have nothing better to do than to keep track of the minutia of my life, you can keep track of the progress of my band here.

poop

JD FAQ

Today I want to address a question that is most certainly in the minds of almost everyone that's known me, but none have had the courage to ask.

"JD, I know you're pretty damned white trash, but just how white trash are you?"

Well, allow me to answer that with a picture. Since it's getting cold out, I had to bring my plant inside, and Elly ate the crap out of it. It is in critical condition, and the only way to save it was it fashion a harness to hang the plant from the ceiling. Enjoy.

Facebook

Because of my concern for Facebook's continual lack of care for privacy matters, I deleted most of my profile today. I plan on keeping up my minimal profile. Since I think that my "about myself" part was pretty legendary, I will post it here so it will not be lost forever.

Lover of ninjas, ugly people, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, hot dogs, The Big Show, Mario tennis, Final Fantasy, playing catch with N*** S******, beating N*** S****** at swimming contests, winning in general, being offensive for the sake of being offensive, bitches and hoes, my massive biceps, dividing by zero, C&C:RA, gammas and lambdas, the first 104 digits of pi, spoony bards, Horadric Cubes, popes, easy mac, oil drop experiments, GIR, apple juice, immature sexual innuendos, cheap fat jokes, flying spaghetti monsters, wave-particle duality, tennis, Maria Sharapova, metal slimes, Il san, hamburger helper, Vogons, Festivus, diet caffeine free mountain dew, getting mail, wtfwjd, Rocko's Modern Life, Fast Food(the game), checking my email, Culver's, Jedi knights, eating too much god damned candy, k-----'s mom, being the juggernaut (bitch), cheetos, getting attacked by bears, blaming TC for breaking it, chicken nugget day, velociraptors, sticking wires in electric sockets, LEEEEEROY JEEEENKINS, giant slingshots, pwning n00bs on the new map Dust for CS, GUH~!, stomptifying the Spanish armada, Harry Potter (even though I've never read the books or watched the movies), being a werewolf, NOT the pokey pokey, telling people that they're being dumb, bananaphones, single top events, losing at tennis, honor duels, Diablo 2, Dr. Elliot Reed, Elly the kitty, and myself.

Hater of human beings, especially you.

Seriously. You stink.

I was also Mr. July in the Physics Studs of 2007 calendar.

My future wife

I'd hit it

My triumphant return

Hey everyone,
I know it's been forever since I posted on here, and I apologize. So I'll sum up the bits and pieces of the past 2 weeks or so that were interesting.

- I've started a new habit. Whenever I make a hot dog, I will pretend that the ketchup bottle is a 40.

- I installed Linux on a 2nd partition on my laptop only to find that I don't know a damned thing about Linux.

- Elly throws up every once in a while. At first I thought it was because she was eating cardboard, but I got rid of my spare boxes and she still does it. Curiously, she always seems to have the same volume of vomit everytime, so I suspect she might have an eating disorder.

- I took a test in Quantum Mechanics on Monday. It was so difficult it had me contemplating quantum suicide. Quantum suicide for those of you who aren't familiar with the concept and appreciate a bad pun.

- My parents are visiting on Saturday. Note, much like my tenure at ISU, it wasn't until they had a daughter/granddaughter living in the city that they started visiting. Is granddaughter spelled with one d or two?

- BennyTee is going to Wisconsin next week, but doesn't have the decency to make the extra 6 hour drive to come see me. Player-hate on him next time you see him.

- The bus right before class was full today, so it skipped over my stop, so I missed my first class. Wth is up with that?

- I cleaned up my apartment yesterday. Anyone that knows me understands why this is reportable news.

- Elly has trained me to play fetch with her. I've never heard of a cat that likes to play fetch, but Elly will play it for a good 10-15 minutes before she gets bored of it.

- Also, Elly has terrible breath. Are there any kitty breath mints I can buy or something?

I think that's pretty much it. I will make a better effort to keep my lovely readers updated regularly. As for my uggo readers, you're on your own.

RE:TC's "Living Longer ..."

Seeing all of those things that I'm not doing that would make my life better sure makes me depressed.

But on the bright side, I'm ahead of everyone else. In other news, I am awesome at everything.

2-You all need to stop being depressed

Yo TC, I think you missed your calling as a psychologist

This is why YouTube was invented

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01USG9xpnhE

The best part comes at 2:30

New desktop color scheme

Check it

My Future

Let C(t) represent my intended career goal at a given time t. Here is a sampling of various values of C(t) for given t's

C(0 year) = alive
C(4) = Official magnet player
C(8) = I don't know... fireman?
C(12) = Chemist
C(16) = Engineer
C(20) = Physcist
C(22) = Physics Teacher

Let's use this data to calculate my expected earnings with respect to time.



As the trendline clearly shows, within 2 years my expected income for my career goal will be less than zero dollars per year. What's up with that?

Elly's wake up call

So, in the past 2 days Elly has picked up a new habit. It seems she has decided that in the morning when I show the first signs of waking up it is officially her job to lay on me in as many uncomfortable positions as possible until I wake up, including on my face and across my neck. I'm just glad I finally got a chance to clip her claws yesterday when she crashed in my lap after what I can only guess was a catnip induced high.

Harry Potter is gay.

Well, not really. But Dumbledore is! I hope this makes your week, Doctor, even though you have no idea who the crap Dumbledore is.

Oh man, this story cracks me up

If you've dealt with Comcast customer service before you'll understand.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/17/AR2007101702359.html

The pain of being ticklish

Hey guys,
I got a crazy bad itch on the bottom of my foot, but I'm so freaking ticklish I can only stand one scratch every few seconds. It's unbearable.

My Last Name

I've always said that if my fiance was unwilling to take my last name after marriage, I would offer to change both our last names to something brand new as a compromise. With that said, I figure I should start thinking of some good last names.

So here it is, I'm testing them out with my (hopefully) future title

Dr. Kewtbut
Dr. Shadowkill
Dr. Pepper <-works on two levels
Dr. Awesome
Dr. Kay (JD Kay)
Dr. Wang

Any other ideas? Let me know.

My dream

I had the most wonderful dream last night. Eazy-E, KT, Ben and I were hanging out watching TV. I was eating gummi bears and I made a stupid joke about them. Then everyone fake-laughed at my lame joke... even Ben! He didn't mock me or anything. It was the most happiest dream ever.

The Descent is real!

Read this article with an open mind.

Rescuers earlier said four students were lost inside the cave, but now say there were only three.

Yeah, riiight. I know the truth. That fourth one totally got eaten.

Just cuz you're a doctor doesn't mean you aren't dumb as hell

Click here

The OFFICIAL apartment tour! Part 1

Yo yo, welcome to lifestyles of the rich and famous! Selling those hos is easy as hell.

Come in the door and turn right and you're looking at my closet. If you look at the upper right corner, you can see Spartanopoly and Cyclonopoly. On the left is my bookcase full of books I have previously lent out never to be read. I'm looking at all three of my regular viewers right now.

Now we turn left and we can see into the kitchen. Good thing I cleaned it right before I took these pictures

Ooh, look at that nice clean kitchen. Everything nicely put away and cleaned up. Note the container of cooking oil, just in case of emergency.

My disturbingly deep pantry.

The OFFICIAL apartment tour! Part 2

Okay, now going back into the entry room and going straight, we can peek into where the magic happens, my computer desk/kitchen table. You can also see Elly's favorite toy, her box in the lower right hand corner

Just to give you another view of the living room. I really need to find a better place to store the kitty litter.

Ladies, this is where the magic happens. And by magic, I mean where I pay my bills. It's my bar. So come visit and we'll have a wonderfully sophisticated time and pretend to drink expensive wines. Next up is the bathroom.

Oh yeah, check out that sexy happy trail. Now TC knows what he's missing out on.

My bedroom, which you get to by taking a right as soon as you step into the living room. I cleaned up just before I took these pictures. How much you believe the previous statement is a test of how well you know me (The correct answer is that while it isn't as messy as it should be, I most certainly did not clean up because that would violate who I am.)

The OFFICIAL apartment tour! Part 3

Looking left we can see onto my balcony. Unfortunately, it's dark so you can't see anything. Too bad for you.
Fun fact: If you look closely at the reflection in the window, you can clearly see that I'm not wearing any pants.
Funner fact: Made you look.

Now we look right and we can see my closet. Nothing special here. Since I don't want to end on too lame of notes, here's a couple pictures of Elly.


Enjoy!

DROP OUT OF COLLEGE NOW

And quit your jobs. We are going to pool our money together to buy THIS and start a new life there. How cool would that be?! I'll invest $1000, anyone else feel like ponying up the remaining $1,499,000?

RadioHead shows us the future?

Their newest album

So why is this noteworthy? Because it is available for download online with only a minimal payment required. You choose how much you wish to pay for downloading this album. The important thing is that this could be the beginning of a whole new distribution method to replace CDs. Also, this enables the bands to cut out a great deal of the middle man, giving them a larger share of the profits. I sure hope this is a profitable thing for them, because I would love to see more of this in the future.

Note: The album for download isn't CD-quality, but 160 Kbps, which to me, frankly, sounds pretty much the same.

zug

I will record here that I recommend reading zug, but not at work or in class, because it will make you giggle.

Worst article on quantum mechanics

Please, for the love of god, don't read this article. It has the worst description of quantum mechanics I've ever read. It made me cry IRL.

I second The Sticky Pad

It works on like 3 different levels.

Girls don't play nintendo!

Female gamers now outnumber male gamers for the Wii and DS in Japan.

Adobe Reader sucks

Why you should be using Foxit

First round of exams

So, reading my old blog posts, I realize I mentioned my first exam, but never updated on how the other two went. I got them back on Monday, and I was very pleased with the results. Despite my early struggles in both of those classes, I seem to have adjusted my study habits effectively. I am very optimistic now about how this semester will go academicly

I'm a mother!

So, for those of you who have some experience with cats, you probably with them "kneading" you or a blanket or something with their paws. My cat growing up would always do this to me, so I assumed it was some sort of sign of affection. When I got Elly, I noticed something a little different though. She would only knead during our going to sleep ritual (Cats love rituals). Basically, I'll wake her up from wherever she is napping and tell her it's time to go to sleep, then I'll go lay down on my side and pet her for 10 minutes or so. It's during this time that she'll knead me. I thought that it was bizarre that she did it at such a specific situation compared to my old cat, so I looked up what the behavior actually meant.

From answerbag.com:

It's an instinctive response left over from their days as nursing kittens.
When a mother cat's litter settles in to nurse, they knead the area around their mother's teats that same way to stimulate the mammary glands and facillitate a steadier flow of milk.

Or to put more of a surrealist spin on it:
They're trying to milk you.

So they do it in other situations because it reminds them of being being a kitty and that is comforting, but the fact that the only time Elly does it is when I'm on my side? Yeah, I'm totally her mom.

To Protect and Serve

Here's a site that I was forwarded a while back. It contains a few articles that illustrate how screwed up our justice system can actually be. I really like it because the articles are regional, which really gets the point across "this could happen to you"

When I watch this video I think to myself "Wow, he didn't do anything different than I would have done." It makes me think that carrying around a hidden audio recorder in my car isn't such a bad idea, just in case. I will make up for this scary post by posting an Elly story later.

A page from the cook book of the Captain

How to make a REAL hot dog
Step 1) Purchase hot dogs and hot dog buns. Brand isn't important, but for an authentic hot dog experience, I recommend ballpark franks
Step 2) Procure a microwave. I recommend Wal mart or Ebay. Grilling your hot dogs is not allowed.
Step 3) Remove the packaging from the hot dogs. I recommend using a butter knife and cutting away from your finger.
Step 4) Remove 2 hot dogs from the packages. 2 hot dogs is the only number that can be consumed at once. One is for wimps and three is for fatties.
Step 5) Put 1 minute on the microwave.
Step 6) Put the hot dogs in the microwave. Wait 35 seconds. Put the buns in with the hot dogs and turn the microwave back on. Wait 20 seconds. Remove
Step 7) Put ketchup on the hot dogs. Other condiments are not necessary nor are they permitted.
Step 8) Enjoy the supreme happiness that comes along with knowing you just made and ate the world's best hot dog recipe

Toyota commercial

I'm gonna equip myself with a little... FOUR WHEELS OF FURY!

Elly and I hanging out

Eazy-E someday

Music player program

1by1

Very, very powerful and completely unbloated. I love it.

Opera User Hint of the Day

Opera doesn't seem to like blogspot's login. You can screw around with deleting cookies to get it temporarily working, but bookmarking this page to login works much better.

First Exams, First Impressions, Elly stuff

Today I got back the results from my first exam, and I took my second exam. I am happy with the score I got, I am pretty confident that I'll be getting at least one A this semester. Also, after taking my second exam today, I'm pretty confident that I will be doing fine in there, too. So, if nothing else, I have a lot of confidence going into my third exam on Friday. Hopefully I'll find more time than the 0 and 1 hours of studying I put into the two other exams, respectively.

Elly is pretty much settled into the apartment now. She still likes to sleep all day and play at night. I am trying to play with her and get her riled up a couple of hours before bedtime to get her tired, but she has a lot of kitty energy. I also am making a show of putting away her toys, she seems to be starting to get the idea that when I put away her toys, that means playtime is over. She also looves to walk on the keyboard while I'm at the computer, and still attacks wires and my eyeglasses. At the very least, I want to train her not to do these things, because I can't afford to replace my glasses or my kitty.

Elly and me

Elly and me

Halo 3 vs Harry Potter

Proof that Halo3 is better than Harry Potter

My kitty and my life

I'm getting a kitty!

I pick her up on Saturday. I have decided to name her Elliot, Elly for short, after Dr. Elliot Reid. Partially because Sarah Chalke is a mega hottie, and partially because I like the name Elly.

In other news, I took my first exam as a graduate student today, and I'm pretty sure I pwned it like the noob it is. I have two more exams next week in my two other, more difficult courses. Also, I got back my first perfect score homework. So for the first time since I got here I actually feel confident about how I'm doing and I feel like I can actually succeed. Also, I've spent more time doing homework this week than ever before, so my motivational issues are coming to an end. So, it's been a great week for me. I can't wait for tomorrow!

Love,
Sexy

Another reason why biofuels are a non-solution

http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,508089,00.html

A forward I can get behind

True Friendship...None of that Sissy Crap


Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone-cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.
"Why?" you may ask; "Because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth!

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

The Office

Except without Steve Carell

Engineer joke

If I've ever read one sentence that describes TC, this is it

"To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1)things that need to be fixed, and (2)things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them."

more joke

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street cafe opposite an empty house. They see two people go into the house. Time passes, and after a while they see three people walk out of the house.

The physicist says "The measurements were not accurate."
The biologist says "The people who went into the house have reproduced."
The mathematician says "Now, if exactly one person enters the house it will be empty again."

A mathematician, physicist, and an engineer are asked to find the volume of a red sphere:

The mathematician looks at the sphere and then measures the circumference and then calculates the radius and uses that to calculate the volume.

The physicist looks at the sphere and then gets a graduated cylinder and fills it part way with water. He then submerges the sphere in the water and states that the volume of the sphere is equal to the displacement of the water.

The engineer takes the sphere and starts look at it all over, making sure that he sees the whole surface of the sphere. Then he pulls out a book of tables and starts flipping through it. He starts to get nervous as he nears the end of the book. When he finishes with the book, he pulls out another book of tables and keeps flipping through it. When he finishes with his second book he asks "Hey, do any of you have tables for red spheres?"

Math joke

The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by. He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smiles, thinking to himself, "Damn, it's great to be e^x. I'm real analytic everywhere. I'm my own derivative. I blow up faster than anybody and shrink faster too. All the other functions suck."

Lost in his own egomania, he collides with the constant function 3, who is running in terror in the opposite direction.

"What's wrong with you? Why don't you look where you're going?" demands e^x. He then sees the fear in 3's eyes and says "You look terrified!"

"I am!" says the panicky 3. "There's a differential operator just around the corner. If he differentiates me, I'll be reduced to nothing! I've got to get away!" With that, 3 continues to dash off.

"Stupid constant," thinks e^x. "I've got nothing to fear from a differential operator. He can keep differentiating me as long as he wants, and I'll still be there."

So he scouts off to find the operator and gloat in his smooth glory. He rounds the corner and defiantly introduces himself to the operator. "Hi. I'm e^x."

"Hi. I'm d / dy."

From here

Why the Captain's "personal life" is like it is

According to science!

Cell phones

This is a great news story that I've been following and will hopefully have a huge impact on how cell phone companies do business.
News story

I am installing linux on my desktop

nt

Math makes you better at science?!

Duh of the week

No fatties

Having close obese friends increases your own risk of obesity

:o

The periodic table of the internets

Click me

Yup, it appears to have all of the basic elements.

Mr. Smith stayed the hell out of Washington

Quite the laundry list. I also found this one courtesty of Craig's blog.

Members of congress under investigation

Why I should have become a doctor

I saw a link to a NYtime article about a Cosmopolitan article on Craig Newmark's blog (Craig Newmark = founder of craigslist)

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/07/business/07offline.html?ex=1185422400&en=a2376f91e278ef9d&ei=5070

FINAL TAKE Cosmopolitan, citing an unnamed online dating study, said that women would “relax their standards of how tall they want their mate to be” if the man earned enough money.

How much?

A man who is 5-foot-6 would need to make $175,000 more a year to be considered as desirable as a man who is 6 feet tall.

Homework for you

There are a lot of official google blogs, but I think this is the most interesting one

http://googlepublicpolicy.blogspot.com/

I highly recommend you read the 3 part series on net neutrality.

"Without nondiscrimination safeguards that preserve an environment of network neutrality, the Internet could be shaped in ways that only serve the interests of broadband carriers, rather than U.S. consumers and Web entrepreneurs. As Craig Newmark of Craig's List puts it, 'Imagine if you tried to order a pizza and the phone company said AT&T's preferred pizza vendor is Domino's. Press one to connect to Domino's now. If you would still like to order from your neighborhood pizzeria, please hold for three minutes while Domino's guaranteed orders are placed.'"

Your mom jokes are the epitome of humor

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=762

The best yogurt ever

Yoplait very vanilla.  Buy it now.

Productivity Porn

Now that you are intrigued/aroused, read this.
http://blog.pmarca.com/2007/06/the_pmarca_guid.html

More Opera stuff

Here are 3 new buttons for my Opera that work wonders.  The first opens the current webpage in IE.  There is also an open IE in new tab button, but that requires an add on to Opera.  Since I almost never have problems with websites, I decided to keep my Opera extra light in exchange for this slight inconvenience.

The middle one is a "google search this website".  I commented to TC a few weeks ago that google search seems to work a lot better than most websites' search engines.  For example, when I want to find an artist on purevolume, I just go to purevolume.com, press that button and type in the artist name and I get back google results, but only from www.purevolume.com

The last one is the coolest one.  It uses bugmenot to automatically search for usernames and passwords to the site you are currently at.  If the sign in boxes are appropriately labeled ("Username, password"), it is even smart enough to submit a name for you with the click of a button.  Otherwise the top 2 results are posted in a small discreet box in the lower left corner of the browser, which is awesome.

Am I still better than you?

Why, yes, yes I am

This is exactly how explosm looks to me when I visit the website now

People that love video games more than me

http://www.comcast.net/news/national/index.jsp?cat=DOMESTIC&fn=/2007/07/15/714818.html&cvqh=itn_obsession

Man, I thought I loved video games, but even I don't think I could neglect my own kids to the point of near-death just to play.

For both Harry Potter fans and haterz

Think you are too manly to show your Harry Potter collection on your bookshelf?  Make a custom cover!

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/pottercovers.html

These crack me up, check out the quotes by the reviewers.

V-V-V-Video blog?

Hey, check out my video blog, hippies.

http://www.yousendit.com/download/OGhjSU5IcVhvQUkwTVE9PQ

This link only lasts 7 days, so if you want to look at it in the future, save it to your HD

New IM program

Open your IM client
Press alt ctrl delete
Now check the RAM usage
Now look at this, suckers





http://www.miranda-im.org/

Wonderful site for IMing

Imagine a web-based version of GAIM.  Perfect for using computer lab computers
www.meebo.com

Do not read if you like having a slow computer

http://www.thepcspy.com/articles/other/what_really_slows_windows_down/5

Norton just got pwned

It's the end of the week as I know it, and I feel fine

Currently listening to... Brian McKnight

Yo guys, the weekend is fast approaching and I have absolutely zero plans.  Right now I'm betting on a Diablo 2 campaign, but if you have a better idea of a game/activity that I can do, let me know.  Only rule is, it has to be within my ability to do (EG "make out with a hot chick" is disqualified).  

I just got back from tennis, and I have a new streak going, I managed to sneak by him today 10-7.  
It was rough, and I'm pretty sure Past James would have lost, but this time I saw what I needed to do to adjust and was able to change my game as necessary.  
I'm pretty proud of my accomplishment.  You should be, too.
(For some reason, the text here wants to go all wonky and stretch out the page)

Anyway,  I'm doing great, and it looks like I'll be back to visit in about 3 more weeks.  I miss you all.   Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you.  That is how I know you go on.

Love,
Teh Sexy

Joke

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gave each woman a present of $5,000 and watched to see what they do with the money.

The first got a total make over. She went to a fancy beauty salon got her hair and nails done, new make up and bought several new outfits and dressed up very nicely for the man. She told him that she did this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second went shopping to buy the man gifts. She got him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she gave these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invested the money in the stock market. She earned several times the $5,000. She gave him back his $5000 and reinvested the remainder in a joint account. She told him that she wanted to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

This cracked me up

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/for/372399825.html

Now that I've done 5 in a night, it's time for...
120 in a night!

http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MTljYmY4NTIwMzBiODJmNGYwNWVhM2VjMGYyZjQ3MzY=

YES!

I did it!  I think I am finally understanding this format!  I am so happy I just wanted to share that with you all.

Live from Fermilab it's Thursday morning!

Currently listening to... sixpence none the richer

Dear Hippies,
So I played tennis yesterday and I lost!  It was a tough match, we both had really hot and really cold streaks.  The end score was 7-6(7-1).  Yeah, I kinda fell apart in the tiebreaker, I know.  But I was pretty happy with how I played for the most part.  I've really improved at my hard gets, intead of getting to hard shots and knocking them into the net, I now get to the hard shots and lob them back in.  Unfortunately, the guy I play knows me too well to fall for the "Oh, he'll never return that" trick.  Oh well, I'll just have to get faster to surprise him more.

I'm still trying to learn the new system at work, and I'm still hella confused and frustrated.  But I'm starting to make a little progress, so hopefully today I'll make a big breakthrough and I can continue on with my normal work.  

Things I am no longer ashamed of liking:
1)boobies
2)my slammin' bod
3)Howie Day

Things I am still ashamed of liking:
1)RPGs
2)TC
3)Ninjas

To thine own self be true, CaptainSexy.

Peace out, homies

If we lived in Diablo II

I was talking with The Doctor, and somehow the subject of what kind of Diablo 2 character we would be, so here goes:
Me: Necromancer- If all of that worshipping of the DL gets me anything, it had better be the ability to raise an army of the undead.
Nick: Barbarian - I think this one is self explanitory, too.
Thomas: Paladin - Strong, honest, full of bravery and valor
Ben: Assassin - Assassin ~= Ninja ~= Asian ~= Ben
Eazy E: Druid - Lover of nature, ability to shape shift into werewolves?  They're practically the same person!
A-Bomb: Sorceress - Smart, reads lots of books, would look slammin' in the outfit.  Sorceresses have the ability to mold reality to their whim, sounds like a lawyer to me.

Non bloated MP3 player

http://digitalelement.byethost22.com/stp/download.html

Software for the PC that can play MP3s without sucking out the lifeblood of your system.  Probably won't work on mp4s for you iTunes lovers.

(It's portable too!  No installation necessary)

Why the ladies love me

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC04599320070710?feedType=RSS&rpc=22&sp=true

"Women were more physically attracted to brawny men, especially for a fling. But when it comes to finding a long-term partner, they tend to pick a regular man over a mate with huge biceps."

That's right, the ladies want me for just a fling, but they want you normies for long term.

Never have to make another "free" account

http://www.bugmenot.com/

Say you want to read the IMDB boards.  They make you create a free account, but it's a hassle and you have to give them an email address, which will inevitably get spammed.  Here comes bugmenot.  Go to the site, type in "www.imdb.com" in the search, and a bunch of usernames and passwords will pop up.  Choose one and type it in and get on with your life.

Since I got back

Listening to... Howie Day

Hello friends and The Doctor,
I have arrived back at Fermilab with little to no hassle.  The amazing thing about a 5 hour drive is that it gets even more boring every time I make it.  Fortunately, I only have 2 more of them left before I upgrade to the 10 hour drive.  I had a lot of fun this weekend; I only have 2 regrets.  First, that I was unable to play my prank on The Doctor, and second, that I was unable to play BennyTee at tennis.  I was able to get in all of my desired interactions with TC, though, which I am very happy for.  On a side note, I was also able to get in all of my desired interactions with A-Bomb and A-Bomb mark II, if you know what I mean*.  Also, I was able to find A-Bomb's missing camera, so she owes me bigtime, if you know what I mean**.  

In other news, I have a tennis match today.  This will be my 4th match with this guy.  In the first 2 matches he smoked me bigtime and in the 3rd match I was able to squeak by him in a tie breaker.  So it should be really interesting.  He plays with a lot of spin and goes for the weird angles, so playing him involves a lot of running and mishits.  

Hey, I went running today.  I made it about 2 miles before the heat, my outofshapeness, and other important but unmentioned factors stopped me.  I am pretty ashamed of that because I think even a lardo like TC could beat me in a race right now.  Yeah, that's right, lardo.  I got an email about the Fermilab triathlon yesterday and it reminded me of how awesome being in the Pigman was.  It also reminded me about how I've sat on my ass all summer doing nothing physical except for the random tennis match.  

So, anyway, I am done talking for now.  Hopefully future posts won't be so lame, so I apologize for that.  Keep it real, yo.

James

* I talked to them
** If I ever lose my camera, I will be expecting her to find it for me.

Alli makes me poop my pants

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19587389/